we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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