Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
