when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
