brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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