Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
