I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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