You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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