He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
