I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
