just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
