Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
