we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Be still, my beating vagina.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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