I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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