I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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