I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
