i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize