Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
