dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Randomize
