You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
