I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
