I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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