just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
