yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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