And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hippo gnu deer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize