Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
