Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
