pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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