Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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