he thought i was a dude.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize