I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
