Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You left your phone here
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