the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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