It's like God shit irony all over that family
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
