I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
