As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
