420 ftw
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
