there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
