I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
