They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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