you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
