Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
