So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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