I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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