I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
