Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't think brook has ever known best
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
