i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
