Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
