I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
