I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
