Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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