god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
