we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
