He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
These tits shall not be calmed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
