First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize