Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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